A Thank-You To My Mother-In-Law

The LORD is my light and my salvation;
Whom shall I fear?
The LORD is the strength of my life;
Of whom shall I be afraid?
Psalm 27:1

Pretty early on in my marriage, I noticed that my mother-in-law has a personality that is just about the complete opposite of my mother’s. My mother, as I wrote about here, is a practical, reliable, duty-driven creature of habit. My mother-in-law, by contrast, is more of an adventure-seeking dreamer who loves to try new things. But both of these mothers love their families and are women of faith.

Of course I’m a lot more like my mom than I am like my mother-in-law. That makes sense. But I’ve learned from both of them.

One of the important lessons I learned from my mother-in-law is not to transfer my fears to my children. When they were young and my husband would go on a trip, I used to feel afraid at night. My mother-in-law, speaking from the experience of a divorced mother of three, pointed out that expressing those fears in front of my children would only cause them to be afraid as well. It seems so obvious now, but no one had ever talked to me about that before. I learned not to say anything to my girls about my being afraid when their daddy was away from home. I needed to be strong for them. I tried not to let my anxieties show.

Unfortunately I’m afraid that generally speaking I may have communicated fear to them in a different way, by taking my contingency planning mindset too far. The desire to prepare for all possible outcomes can make one reluctant to act at all. It often leads to risk-avoidance. And efforts to reduce anxiety by being ready for anything can end up creating anxiety (that what-am-I-forgetting? feeling).

Furthermore you start to believe that your safety depends on you. To some degree it does; you have to be smart; you have to be aware. But ultimately we are dependent upon God to be our Protector.

There is some value in considering all the things that could go wrong in any given situation. But Satan would love for us to cross the line into the realm of worry and fear over things that are extremely unlikely.

2 Timothy 1:7 says:

For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.

This doesn’t mean that it’s wrong to be afraid. Fear can be a good thing. It can keep us safe. And it’s not always wrong to admit that we’re afraid. But a spirit of fear is not from God. (If it’s not from God, I wonder where it could come from. 🤔)

In the context on 2 Timothy 1:7, there were a lot of contingencies that might have tempted the young preacher, Timothy, to soft-pedal rebuke of sin or downplay the requirements of a righteous life. There were some who might “despise [his] youth,” (1 Timothy 4:12). There was the possibility of persecution such as Paul himself was suffering at the time. In both letters to Timothy, Paul encourages him to use his spiritual gifts. Paul did not want a spirit of fear to get hold of Timothy. He needed courage for the ministry entrusted to him.

And we need that kind of courage too. We may feel afraid sometimes, but we don’t always have to let it show. I don’t want that to be my example to my children, and I certainly don’t want Satan to hear it from my lips.

So we may boldly say:
“The LORD is my helper;
I will not fear.
What can man do to me?”
Hebrews 13:6

My mother-in-law isn’t one to hold back when it comes to sharing her faith or fighting the evil in the world. I like to think that from her example I’ve gained a little courage myself. So, thank you, Linda. I love you.

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9

by Christie Cole Atkins

Dear God, I thank You for the loving family into which I was born, the wonderful family into which I married, and the amazing spiritual family that I gained through Christ. You have blessed me with so many people who have filled gaps in my spiritual education and in my efforts as a parent. Please bless all of these in Jesus’s name, Amen.

Related Reading:

Now These Three Remain: Hope, Faith, And… Anxiety?