When Not To Pray

The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much. James 5:16b

Prayer is one of the cornerstone blessings of being a child of God. It would be hard to overstate its importance. And I think most of us would say we ought to spend more time in prayer than we currently do. But recently I have heard multiple people suggest that there are times when we should not pray. At first that idea didn’t seem right to me, but after meditating on it, I think they have a point.

It may not be time to pray…
… if we’re using prayer to avoid other responsibilities.

The Bible does instruct us to “pray without ceasing” (1 Thessalonians 5:17), but fulfilling one command is not an excuse to neglect another. Putting money in the collection plate on Sunday doesn’t relieve a man’s responsibility to help his parents if they’re in need (Mark 7:10-13). Taking meals to the sick doesn’t remove a person’s responsibility to feed his or her own family (1Timothy 5:8). Praying is good and it needs to be consistent and frequent. But it is not the only command.

C.S. Lewis wrote in Mere Christianity that sometimes “you may realise that, instead of saying your prayers, you ought to be downstairs writing a letter, or helping your wife to wash-up. Well, go and do it.”

It may not be time to pray…
…if we’ve mishandled our relationships.

First Peter 3:7 indicates that a husband’s prayers can be hindered if he is not giving honor to his wife. Jesus said in Matthew 5:23-24 that before we worship (and prayer is a part of worship), we need to be reconciled to a brother that has anything against us. If our relationships are out of order, particularly if it’s our fault, we need to take care of that if we want our prayers to be heard.

It may not be time to pray…
…if our motives are wrong.

Jesus said that hypocrites “love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the corners of the streets, that they may be seen by men,” (Matthew 6:5). He said their reward is whatever attention they receive from men, implying that they shouldn’t expect much answer from the Lord. And in James 4:3 we are told that sometimes we don’t get what we pray for because we “ask amiss” with selfish intentions. There’s really no point in praying if we’re doing it for the wrong reasons.

I’ve heard a fourth situation suggested—
It may not be time to pray…
…when your prayers are a way of taking back what you turned over to God…
In other words, if you’ve already asked God to take care of it, trust Him to do it; don’t keep asking—but I’m not sure I agree on this one. Paul stopped praying about his thorn in the flesh, but he had a direct answer from God (2 Corinthians 12:7-10). And Jesus taught a parable in Luke 18:1-8 to show his disciples “that they should always pray and never give up.”

Even if we’ve declared that we will give an issue over to God and not worry about it or try to control it any longer, if we find ourselves backsliding on that commitment, then it seems the very thing TO DO would be to pray, asking God to help us put it back into His hands.

Often what causes people to stop praying is discouragement. We may get tired of waiting for God to come through. Another cause is distraction. We get so busy we forget to pray. Our quiet time with God seems like the least urgent thing, and before we know it, it isn’t a thing at all. This is where pray without ceasing comes in. We are to be “fervent in spirit, serving the Lord; rejoicing in hope, patient in tribulation, continuing steadfastly in prayer,” (Romans 12:11-12). But there may be things we need to take care of before we pray. And sometimes the time for prayer is over and the time for action has come.

by Christie Cole Atkins

God, I know you want me to come to you with all my cares and concerns as well as with thanksgiving and praise. But help me never to use prayer as an excuse to avoid other important things, and help me to do all I can to keep myself pure so that my prayers are not hindered. Remind me always what a privilege it is to be able to talk with You, and help me never to mis-use this precious gift! In Jesus’s name, Amen.

Related Reading:

When God Doesn’t Answer

When You’re Not Good At Praying