What To Do When You Don’t Know What To Do

Save me, O God!
For the waters have come up to my neck.
I sink in deep mire,
Where there is no standing;
I have come into deep waters,
Where the floods overflow me.
I am weary with my crying;
My throat is dry;
My eyes fail while I wait for my God.
Psalm 69:1-3

Social media is such an interesting sociological phenomenon. Most of the time we use it to present the very best side of ourselves and of our lives generally. Sometimes we use it as a platform, a way to spread whatever message we want to spread, whether it’s buy-my-product or think-like-I-think. Social media is a public face, and we want to look as “pretty” as we can.

But sometimes people use social media to share very openly their walk through grief. It’s an honor to be allowed to observe someone from afar as they respond to tragedy with great faith and faithfulness. I have been humbled and taught much by people who are willing to be vulnerable in this way.

On the other hand it is very sad to see people who are in the midst of crisis or chronic suffering desperately reaching out on social media, but without any hope other than the possibility that people might respond to their post with some sympathy.

Most of us have probably used social media in each of these ways at some time or other. I most appreciate when people are willing to share a little bit of all these sides of life, although of course there are some things that should never be shared on social media at all.

But sometimes we can see that people are drowning, not just in a sea of problems but also without any kind of ark of safety anywhere in sight.

Anyone could be drowning in problems, very serious problems, at any given point in life. We all have moments when we just don’t know what to do. But as Christians, even when we don’t know what to do, we do know what to do. We have a refuge, a boat to swim for, an oar to row with, a life jacket that’s always on. These safety measures don’t keep us from facing problems and they don’t make our problems magically disappear. But they keep us safe when we “come into deep waters,” (Psalm 69:2).

Not long ago I had a conversation that really upset me. I mean it really upset me. It had me reeling, and wrestling with anger, hurt, hopelessness over the situation, and fear for the future. I did very little the rest of the day, ate very little; I was very distressed.

But even though I didn’t know what to do about the situation, I did know what to do. I prayed. I cried and tried to imagine solutions and felt my heart beating faster with anger. Then I prayed some more. I slept not too badly through the night but whenever I woke, I felt those feelings again and I prayed again. First thing in the morning I was praying about it. None of these were deep theological prayers, mind you. They were mostly just repeated pleas for help, for God to work because I didn’t know what to do. The negative feelings continued to swirl around me. I moved through that next day rather mechanically, until around noon I received a somewhat conciliatory email from the person I had disagreed with. There was still much to resolve, but God had answered my prayers and restored hope. Prayers aren’t always answered that quickly, but as believers we know that God is there and that He cares.

If all you can think to do when you’re in deep waters is to put out an SOS on social media, you might get some “I care” hug emoji responses. You might get some sympathetic comments. But people don’t always know what to say, and so they often say nothing. That doesn’t mean they don’t care. Try talking to friends in person and you may get a real hug, or be able to give more information and receive some helpful advice.

But if you aren’t taking your burdens to God, you are missing out on the most powerful kind of help there is. For “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble,” (Psalm 46:1).

Pray without ceasing. I Thessalonians 5:17

Dear God, thank You for always being there for us. Please remind us of Your love when earthly trials tempt us to despair. Give us wisdom to share our hope with the world around us. Bless us and help us, we pray in Jesus’s name, Amen.

by Christie Cole Atkins

If you have trouble finding the words for prayer; if your prayer life has become too repetitive; if you’re looking for a way to deepen your prayer life; if you’ve never tried praying the scriptures, consider my book, Praying God’s Word Back To Him, available here. It makes a great Christmas gift, even for those who don’t love to read. This book is very easy to use. Just find a topic, open to that page, and start praying!