Self-Pity and Self-Sufficiency

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13

Jack be nimble
Jack be quick
Jack jump over the candlestick

Picture Jesus as the candle in the center. On one side is Self-Pity and on the other is Self-Sufficiency. Both are tools of Satan. Some people jump over the candle to one side and stay there. Others jump back and forth continually. Of course Jesus is right there in between those extremes. He is the answer to whatever grief or struggle we might be dealing with. But sometimes we just keep on jumping over Him, not even seeing Him.

Self-Pity

We all feel alone sometimes, like no one notices us, no one cares. Elijah felt that way after his triumph on Mt. Carmel (1 Kings 18-19).

He thought he was the only one serving God.
He was afraid of those who wanted to kill him.
He felt he’d done his fair share.
He wanted God to let him die.

I can imagine him posting on Facebook:

Did the right thing and for what? I am so done with all this.

But God saw him. God let him sleep a bit, then sent an angel to make him eat and drink. God came to him and told him he wasn’t alone and that there was still a job for him to do.

I see so many sad Facebook posts by people who feel alone and just want someone to see them and to really care.

It isn’t that people don’t care, but they all have their own problems. We can only enter so far into others’ troubles, and they can only walk so far into our issues. Only God is ABLE to fully see, know, and care.

And sometimes it IS on us because we haven’t reached out to anyone. We may post a cryptic message on Facebook, but otherwise we go into our caves of introversion and then we are upset that no one sees us.

The lure of self-pity is that it takes responsibility off of me. It’s everyone else’s fault if I don’t have any support. But when we consider the support that God offers, this really doesn’t fly. I can be in a very bad situation, one that is deserving of a great deal of sympathy, and maybe none of the people who should be sympathizing and helping are doing so. But God is willing to help. Am I turning to Him? God cares. So there really isn’t room for me to say that I’m helpless and alone with nothing to do but feel sad and rejected.

Self-Sufficiency

On the other side of the candle, there are those who play the I-don’t-need-anyone-I’m-super-strong-I’ll-do-it-on-my-own card. This doesn’t necessarily ignore the fact that God is there but it ignores the fact that we need Him. It lacks the humility to say I can’t do it all on my own.

Both depression and determination are legitimate feelings. Perhaps determination seems like the better choice. But neither is a solution on its own.

I’m sure God often feels un-seen and un-known too. God isn’t going to wallow in self-pity, of course, but I think it’s His great desire in creating us that we would come to see Him and know Him, understand Him and love Him. He IS self-sufficient, and yet He wants a relationship with us.

Self-pity and self-sufficiency may be on opposite sides of the light, but they’re partners in keeping us from God. Together they teach us to look at troubles and say: I don’t HAVE anyone and I don’t NEED anyone. Both are lies of Satan.

In jumping over the candlestick, Jack was trying not to get burned. But in real life we must come to the Light.

Notice how the Amplified Bible renders and explains the famous Philippians 4:13:

I can do all things [which He has called me to do] through Him who strengthens and empowers me [to fulfill His purpose—I am self-sufficient in Christ’s sufficiency; I am ready for anything and equal to anything through Him who infuses me with inner strength and confident peace.]

I also love how the CEV puts it, and it’s a little more memorable, too:

Christ gives me the strength to face anything.

Dear God, please help me to find that middle ground of safety between feeling sorry for myself and relying on myself alone. I pray that my relationship with You will be the one that sustains me; that keeps me humble as well as builds me up. Help me always to rely on You. In Jesus’s name, Amen.

by Christie Cole Atkins

Related reading: My Not Needed Placed