My Not Needed Place

Look on my right hand and see,
For there is no one who acknowledges me;
Refuge has failed me;
No one cares for my soul.
Psalm 142:4

One afternoon not long ago, my son was in a bad mood for some reason and he decided to go hide in my closet. I found a piece of paper taped to my closet door and it said:

My not needed place
(Do not disturb
please just knock)
Also my not loved place

Yes, he was pouting about something (I don’t remember what), but I thought his actions and the words on the sign were relatable. We all feel at times like my son felt that day— like no one needs us or loves us. And sometimes we just need to get away from everyone until we can resolve those feelings and re-emerge with a renewed readiness to engage with people.

And maybe the “please just knock” was out of respect for the fact that it was my closet, not his, and I might have needed in there. But maybe it also reflected that conflict of heart that we’ve all felt: we want to run away and hide, but we also want someone to come looking for us.

There is a lot in the Bible about how God expects us to seek Him with our whole heart. Seek and ye shall find.

But if you think about it, God is constantly pursuing man, too. After the first sin in the Garden of Eden, God went looking for Adam and Eve. He asked Cain where his brother was. He found Hagar when she had fled alone with her son, twice. He went to Abraham; He called to Moses; He prepared Joshua. He chose Saul as king, and when Saul proved himself unworthy, the Lord “sought for Himself a man after His own heart,” (1 Samuel 13:14).

God sent the judges to deliver Israel, and He sent prophet after prophet to try and bring them back to faithfulness.

And speaking of prophets, there was Elijah. We know the story of how, after defeating the prophets of Baal in dramatic fashion on Mount Carmel, Elijah fled the wrath of Jezebel. After a day’s journey into the wilderness, he sat down under a tree and asked God to take his life (1 Kings 19:4). God followed Elijah there, allowed him some rest, and sent an angel down to feed him.

Forty days later, after Elijah had traveled to Mount Horeb, God was still pursuing him. He found him in a cave and said to him, “What are you doing here, Elijah?” The prophet replied that, as he saw it, he was the only faithful person left, and for all his zeal for God, his enemies were pursuing him to take his life (v. 9-10).

Elijah was definitely feeling very not needed and not loved at this point in his life. He felt alone and he was alone, but God showed Elijah that he had been alone long enough. Elijah was not the only faithful person left after all, and God still had work for him to do.

So the next time you are feeling unseen, unloved, unneeded, and unwanted, and when it feels like no one cares enough to come looking for you, keep in mind that God is always pursuing us. Seeking to save the lost (Luke 19:10). Seeking true worshipers (John 4:23).

When we seek Him, He promises we will find Him. But part of the reason we can do so is that He has already been looking for us the whole time.

And he arose and came to his father. But when he was still a great way off, his father saw him and had compassion, and ran and fell on his neck and kissed him. Luke 15:20

Where do you go when you feel unwanted? Where is your “not needed place” and your “not loved place”? Wherever it is, be assured, your Father can find you there.

Dear God, I am so prone to wander away. Thank you for continuing to seek me when I am lost in sin, sorrow, regret, anger, disappointment, discouragement, or confusion. Help me always to seek You, even when I withdraw from everyone else. And help me to show others that I love and need them. Help me to be like You, to seek those who are lost and hurting. In Jesus’s name, Amen.

P.S. It’s been a few months since my son hung that sign on my closet door. But I leave it there as a reminder. It reminds me that I need to tell people, including my son and including my heavenly Father, that I need them and love them.