The Comparison Trap

And I saw the dead, small and great, standing before God, and books were opened. And another book was opened, which is the Book of Life. And the dead were judged according to their works, by the things which were written in the books. Revelation 20:12

You know those pre-sliced cheesecakes at the supermarket? They are usually packaged with four different flavors together. Turtle cheesecake, dripping with caramel and chocolate? Yes, please! Offer me the raspberry and I’ll probably pass.

We can’t do that in life of course. God serves us each a slice, and that’s the piece we get. It’s tempting to look at our neighbor’s slice and wonder if we wouldn’t have liked that piece better.

Recently I was reading a really good devotional by a lady whose name I already knew. She has written books and I’ve seen her in video Bible lessons. I guess in the world of Christian women you might say she’s a minor celebrity.

Well, somehow in the middle of reading, I got distracted by her. She’s so charming and humble and wise. I suddenly found myself asking God if He loves me as much as He loves her; if my work in His kingdom is as valuable as hers. I’m sure it’s the last thing she would want; it was entirely my fault. I fell into the Comparison Trap. If you’ve ever stumbled into it, you know how it works.

In our hearts we secretly compare

our bodies
our faces
our hair
our clothes
our makeup

our kids
our spouses
our houses
our jobs
our finances
our cars

our intelligence
our wisdom
our abilities
our friends
our social standing
our connections (in business, politics, even in the church, etc.)

And what kinds of conclusions do we draw based on these comparisons?

We come to conclusions about things like:

How I measure up
How much God loves me
Who is better than I am
Who I am better than
I’m glad I’m not that person
I wish I were that person

Never mind that these observations and conclusions are usually based on very limited and sometimes skewed information. Never mind that there might be layers and layers that we cannot see or properly judge. We’ve fallen into the trap.

What we should be asking is, how will God judge me? Look back at that list of things we compare among ourselves– physical attributes, earthly wealth and status, talents. On which of those things will God base His judgment of my eternal soul? The answer, of course, is NONE. None of those things will matter in the judgment except the extent to which I have used those blessings, to the extent that I had them, to serve God.

Remember the parable of the talents in Matthew 25?

It’s ironic that a “talent” was a denomination of money, and yet it seems that each man was entrusted with a different amount based on his own talents, or abilities, to properly manage the funds. But the man who was entrusted with two talents and doubled them to four was given the exact same praise as the man who was given five and doubled them to ten. For all we know, the third man was looking at the first two and wishing he was like them. But what good does that do? He was unproductive and that was his condemnation.

In the book of Revelation the phrase “small and great” is used five times, always referring to people being grouped together and treated the same, whether in suffering or in reward. It seems that neither Satan nor God compares the way we do. They don’t care if you’re small or great, if you’re rich or poor, if you’re a genius, or famous, or stylish, or disabled, or ugly, or awkward. And whatever we think we see in others, we can be sure that the person we’re comparing ourselves to is tempted by Satan, and has sin and sorrow in his or her life. We can also know that he or she has ability, beauty, and great value in the sight of God.

We may get to choose our dessert, but we don’t get to choose the slice of life that we’re served. As Gandalf said to Frodo, “all we get to choose is what to do with the time we are given.” Let’s kick pointless comparison out the door and focus on making the most of what God has entrusted to us.

Dear God, please deliver me from the temptation to compare myself with others. I know that every person has his or her own trials as well as blessings. Help me to desire the very best for each person, and to truly appreciate the life You have given me. Help me not to be distracted by comparison, but to focus on the work You have for me to do. In Jesus’s name, Amen.

by Christie Cole Atkins