Re-wiring Our Self-Talk

Whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.
Philippians 4:8

I’m really bad about talking to myself. I’ve even had strangers call me on it at the grocery store. (Thanks a lot!) When I had a baby in the cart I could just pass it off as talking to my child, but that doesn’t work when I’m shopping alone.

The idea of people talking to themselves may have you picturing Smeagol (Gollum) from Lord of the Rings, who had a serious split-personality disorder. But the fact is, even though we may not all do it out loud, we do all have an internal conversation going on inside ourselves almost all the time. And sometimes it can be similar to Smeagol’s mental battle of good and evil, truth versus lies.

In a previous article (here) I talked about how Satan lies to us, but he doesn’t walk up to us in a red suit with horns. So where do we hear his lies? Sometimes we pick up these false messages from the culture around us– from magazine covers in the check-out line, from movie characters (people who don’t even exist), in song lyrics, etc. Unfortunately we often hear Satan’s lies through the people around us, even friends, family members, and even parents.

Why would a parent, a spouse, or a boyfriend or girlfriend tell you you’re bad or useless or stupid? Well, in moments of anger we all say things we don’t mean. But it may also be that these are things people said to them when they were younger. It may be a reflection more of their own internal struggle than of their true feelings toward you. But what Satan knows is that you only have to hear it once. If he can then get you to repeat it to yourself over and over, he will be mightily pleased with that.

Furthermore if we carry the cycle forward, repeating these things to others in our own moments of anger… well, none of us wants to continue such a trend, yet it is the natural way of things. To break the cycle takes a lot of intentionality.

The good news is that in recent years scientists have been able to prove that the brain is very elastic– flexible, if you will. The human brain has the potential to learn new patterns to replace old ones. A few years ago I read an easy little book called Negative Self-Talk and How to Change It by Shad Helmstetter, PhD. It’s a simple concept, but powerful. If you’re in the habit of repeating negative thoughts to yourself, you can train your brain to do differently.

Sounds a lot like being “transformed by the renewing of your mind,” as we’re instructed to do in that famous verse, Romans 12:2.

The question then becomes, with what do we replace those negative thoughts? Positive thoughts, obviously, but what exactly?

For the low, low price of $19.95… per month… Dr. Helmstetter has an app with dozens of audio affirmations you can listen to. He says that listening for a few minutes every day can change your internal conversation. I tried it for a relatively short amount of time, and I did notice a positive change. I think if you stuck with it for months and months it would be very effective.

For the most part these affirmations are very good. But I would love to see a similar service with affirmations based on the word of God. As I mentioned last week, Satan has a whole category of lies designed to puff us up, to convince us to rely on ourselves, to pull ourselves up by our own boot-straps. We don’t want to go from self-abasement to self-sufficiency (as discussed here). We need to bring God’s word into the equation if we’re to combat Satan’s word.

Maybe (hopefully) you don’t talk to yourself out loud in the grocery store. But we all talk to ourselves inside our own minds. We should combat Satan’s lies by “speaking the truth in love,” (Ephesians 4:15), even when speaking to ourselves.

For starters, try an affirmation like this:

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. (Philippians 4:13)

Dear God, I’m so thankful for Your word that can guide us into all truth. Where Satan’s lies have created ruts in my thinking, help me to fill that space with things that are true, noble, just, pure, and lovely. Help me to overcome any harmful habits in my thinking and speaking so that I might not spread that harm to others. In Jesus’s name, Amen.

by Christie Cole Atkins

P.S. New today! You can now find ten scripture-based personal affirmations on my EXTRAS page. Click here: https://christiecoleatkins.wordpress.com/extras/