When Is It Okay To Give Up?

Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life. James 1:12 ESV

Have you ever played a game, like Monopoly for example, that went on and on for so long, you finally got tired of it and said to your opponent, “I give up. You win!”?

Sometimes life feels like that; like a long drawn-out game that’s not much fun anymore.

When things are good, your faith is strong. When things are bad, you lean on your faith even more. But when things go from bad to worse, will you decide God’s not really there, or not even listening, or doesn’t care?

How much pain do you have to go through before giving up is okay?

This is basically the question that Job’s wife had on her mind. “Do you still hold fast to your integrity? Curse God and die!” (Job 2:9)

Her solution was to give up.

I feel for Job’s wife. Where were her friends? After all, it wasn’t Job alone who had lost everything. But Job was in the right here, not her. She is remembered, perhaps a bit unfairly, for being a discourager; a quitter; faithless. Fair or not, that is her legacy.

You may say: So I leave a negative legacy, so what? I’ll be dead, what do I care?

This is exactly how our opponent, Satan, wants us to think.

We may have plenty of reasons to give up; to give in to self-pity, bitterness, apathy, and anger; we may have the right. But at the judgment, we don’t want to have to confess to God that we gave up and let Satan win.

Sometimes in life we do need to give up on things— destructive habits, energy put into the wrong things, even hopes and dreams if it seems God is calling us to another path. But when people give up on God, it’s usually when things have gone from bad to worse, and that is just the crucial moment when faithfulness is truly tested.

Jesus never gave up on doing God’s will, even that last night when things kept going from bad to worse.

My God, my God, why have You forsaken me? Mark 15:34

Jesus didn’t “curse God and die.” Rather:

Christ has redeemed us from the curse of the law, having become a curse for us (for it is written, “Cursed is everyone who hangs on a tree”). Galatians 3:13

Even when it felt like the Father had quit on him, Jesus never quit doing the Father’s will.

What do you say to someone who is ready to curse God and die? You can say, “You speak as one of the foolish women speaks. Shall we indeed accept good from God, and shall we not accept adversity?” (Job 2:10). Jesus knew how to rebuke gently: “O ye of little faith,” (Matthew 6:30, 8:26, 14:31, 16:8 KJV). But calling someone foolish or criticizing them for lack of faith might not be well received in the midst of their despair. In fact, sometimes there’s nothing you can say that will change their attitude in that moment.

But we can listen; let them get things off their chest; remind them of one thing that they can’t argue with– that we love them. It’s hard to claim that someone doesn’t love you when they’re sitting there with you in the ashes. Yes, we may say the wrong thing, like Job’s friends. But if we’re there, listening— a steady presence, a loving voice —maybe, just maybe we can tether them to God’s love until they’re able to come back around to believing in it.

When is it okay to give up? Like it or not, the answer is, “Never!” We’re called to “be faithful unto death,” (Revelation 2:10). Giving up on God would mean saying to Satan, “You win!” “But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable,” (1 Corinthians 15:57-58a). In other words, never give up!

“Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life,” (James 1:12 ESV).

Dear God in heaven, help us to praise You in our pain. Have mercy on us, O God, for we are weak and sinful and sometimes we hurt so much we just want to give up. Help us to remember Jesus on the cross, that he did not give up on Your plan for saving us. Strengthen us for every trial. In Jesus’s name, Amen.

by Christie Cole Atkins

Related Reading:

How Long, O Lord?

We’re Not In Paradise Anymore, Toto

The Purposes Of Suffering – Part One