It Takes One To Know One

Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, “Let me take the speck out of your eye,” when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye. Matthew 7:3-5 ESV

When my mom’s Aunt Aline passed away a few years ago, we lost one of the best storytellers in the family. She was hilarious, and her best stories were usually the ones she told on herself. Like the time she was in a drive-through line and the guy in front of her kept revving his engine like a hotshot, and she was thinking the whole time what an idiot he was. Until she pulled up to get her order, rolled down her window, and realized it had been her all the time! She was diabetic, and her foot was too numb for her to realize she was pressing down on the gas!

You probably know the old saying, “it takes one to know one,” but why is it so much easier to see any given fault in someone else than it is to see it in ourselves?

In politics, all sides accuse each other of hypocrisy. Could that be because they’re all guilty of it? We see it in individuals. The person who most loudly bemoans “drama,” often seems to be a drama queen herself. A show-off is annoyed by other show-offs because they steal some of his opportunities for the limelight. The people who complain that no one ever helps them may be so fixated on themselves that they never think to offer help. It seems that oftentimes the character flaws we are bothered by the most, are the ones we ourselves possess.

I wonder if, in part, this is why God allowed the wicked nation of Babylon to conquer His own people, Israel. In Habakkuk chapter 1, the prophet asked God how long He was going to let Israel continue in sin unpunished. Habakkuk saw the sin, but the people as a whole refused to confess their wrong or repent of it. Habakkuk lamented, “plundering and violence are before me… justice never goes forth. For the wicked surround the righteous” (Habakkuk 1:3-4).

But when God explained that He was bringing judgment upon His people by “raising up the Chaldeans, a bitter and hasty nation… terrible and dreadful,” (1:6-7a), Habakkuk was shocked. He asked God how He could “hold [His] tongue when the wicked devours one more righteous than he,” (1:13).

Both nations were unrighteous, but the Babylonians (or the Chaldeans) were worse in both God’s and the prophet’s estimation. Could it be that God brought Israel face to face with a picture of their own unrighteousness magnified so that they might begin to grasp the gravity of their own sin?

Being able to recognize the folly of our own sins when we see them magnified in others could be a very useful tool for identifying our own weaknesses, but only IF we turn the light of honest investigation onto ourselves. We might do well to pay attention to what sins in others bother us the most.

Yes, conflict is sometimes caused by the ways that people are complete opposites. But often it’s the ways they are most alike that create the biggest problems.

This is one of the important benefits of permanent marriages and families. When we have a serious conflict with a friend or a workmate for example, we can walk away from that if we want. We don’t have to stay and consider whether we might be “projecting” in some way. But permanent relationships push us to evaluate ourselves honestly.

Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck out of your brother’s eye. Matthew 7:5

There were a few righteous people left in Israel when Babylon took over— people like Daniel and his three famous fire-defying friends. I wonder if any of them looked at the atrocities of Babylon and thought, “At least God punished us before we could get as bad as this, because this is the path we were on.”

Sometimes our mistakes are obvious, like when my great-aunt rolled down her window and realized she was the hotshot. But sometimes it takes something seismic, like an invading army, to draw attention to our faults. God help us if even that doesn’t work.

Dear God, I know that sometimes You allow people and situations into my life to show me my faults. Please open my eyes to my own weaknesses and keep me from focusing on those of others. Help me to be humble enough to admit where I need to change, and help me to change by the power of Your Holy Spirit. In Jesus’s name, Amen.

by Christie Cole Atkins