Mammas Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up…

What profit has a man from all his labor
In which he toils under the sun?
One generation passes away, and another generation comes…
Ecclesiastes 1:3-4

You might remember the old country song, popularized by Waylon Jennings and Willie Nelson, “Mamas Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Cowboys.” I guess being a cowboy would be a hard life, but then again, “doctors and lawyers and such” usually end up with a lot of student debt, working long hours away from their families. Every job has its pros and cons. We’ve always told our kids we would support whatever they wanted to do as long as it was honorable.

There are some things we don’t want our kids to be when they grow up, but we do want them to grow up. So why is it so painful? Why are there so many memes and Facebook posts about wanting time to stop and wishing our babies could stay small?

My daughters have recently expressed this feeling even towards their little brother who is much younger than they are; and now we have a grandbaby on the way. As my own children begin to face this issue, I can only tell them what I did, or now wish I had done, as I watched them grow and prepare to leave my nest.

First of all, it IS hard, and this is one point in favor of larger families. When you have more children, you get to enjoy any given stage several times over. If you only have one or two kids, there’s a long gap of time between having your own babies and then having grandbabies to enjoy. Of course not everyone has the option to have a large family.

Furthermore I know that when we say we wish they could stay small forever, there’s only a part of us that wants that. With every part of our being, we want them to live, to be healthy, to be able to function well and fulfill their God-given purposes in life. Not every parent receives this blessing.

So I’m telling my daughters to be very, very thankful for the good health of their little brother and any healthy children they have; to give thanks without ceasing, and to pray that health continues. Life and good health should never be taken for granted.

Then enjoy everything you can about every child. Enjoy every stage! Yes, there’s something about that biscuit-dough chub of a baby. But there’s something special at every phase of their growth. As they lose their baby cuteness and naiveté, they gain understanding, which allows them to engage in real conversation and to be purposely funny, thoughtful, and helpful.

Besides, it’s our job as parents to respond wisely every time our kids “level up.” If you lean into the challenge of each stage of parenting, you’re more likely to find satisfaction in the changes that kids, and kid-parent relationships, have to go through.

Maturity helps us to accept the fact that, as the Preacher put it in Ecclesiastes 1:3-4, “one generation passes away, and another generation comes.” And if we are in Christ, we know it means we’re getting nearer to our eternal reward. But life doesn’t end when the kids leave the nest. As they become more independent, get back to doing the things you put on hold while they were little. Go back to school and finish your degree program. Try out for community theater. Join a gym. Find a new way to serve with your church.

When the kids are little we often pin our hopes on that future time when things will, we trust, “calm down.” Then when the kids get older, we begin to pine for the past. My advice for my kids, as they start having kids, is to count and appreciate every blessing in “the now.”

Finally, whether you raise your kids to become cowboys or doctors, always think in terms of raising them to be the best companions possible for yourself in your old age. We’re always told to be the kids’ parent, not their friend. But ideally, the older they get, the more we get to reverse that. We may even find their adulthood to be the best stage of all!

Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD. Psalm 127:3

Dear God, I’m so thankful for my children and their good health, and I pray that You would continue to protect and bless them. Please strengthen those parents who have lost children or whose children have long-term health issues, sometimes requiring care all their lives. Help me, as Your child, to embrace every stage of the life You have given me, and may I live, above all, for Your glory. In Jesus’s name, Amen.

by Christie Cole Atkins

And here’s my preferred version: