Hear me, O Lord, for Your lovingkindness is good;
Turn to me according to the multitude of Your tender mercies.
And do not hide Your face from Your servant. Psalm 69:16-17a
Recently I shared a bit about my first trip to Mexico back in the summer of 1990. I had just graduated high school, and since I had studied Spanish all four years, my parents let me go. Those were ten amazing days! But it was very hot, we were outside a lot, and we were not surrounded by air conditioning at every moment as I was used to back in Missouri. After a couple of days of just being hot and sweaty all the time, I realized that I was just going to be hot and sweaty all the time. Once I accepted that as the reality, it didn’t bother me anymore.
Much more recently on a family trip to Hot Springs, Arkansas, a bunch of us got caught downtown in the rain— the pouring rain! While the rest of us waited under awnings, my selfless sister volunteered to walk to the car and come pick us up. We got pretty wet just going from sidewalk to car, but Sis of course was soaked to the skin from head to toe.
Human emotions often cover us in a similar way. Psalm 69 begins with these words:
Save me, O God!
For the waters have come up to my neck.
I sink in deep mire,
Where there is no standing;
I have come into deep waters,
Where the floods overflow me.
I am weary with my crying;
My throat is dry;
My eyes fail while I wait for my God.
Sorrow can wash over us like a flood. Fear or nerves can make us break out in a sweat. Anger courses through our whole bodies like a fire. Happiness, too, is something we tend to feel all over. Emotions have their physical manifestations whether it be in the form of tears, sweat, increased heart rate, or even a beaming smile that we can’t control.
Though we typically do not fight off a flood of happiness, naturally we do want to escape the discomfort of sorrow, fear, and anger. But sometimes it’s like my sweaty trip to Mexico, or my sister driving us home completely soaked from the rain. Sometimes we just need to realize we’re going to be…. fill in the blank… sad, or nervous, or angry for a while. Here are four ideas for dealing with negative emotions when they wash over us.
- Acknowledge the emotion. Name it. Say, well I’m guess I’m going to be feeling ______ for a while.
- Let the emotion have its effect. Healthy self-comfort skills are super important. But trying to escape by gorging on junk food, getting drunk, spending all your time in front of a screen, taking drugs, sleeping around, going on a spending spree— these are not healthy. In the long run, they’ll probably only compound the problem. Don’t be afraid to feel the emotion. Sometimes it will even have a cleansing effect.
- Don’t give the emotion too much power. Feel it. Let it wash over you. But, remember it’s just a feeling. Recognize that feelings are indicators, not masters. You can’t help what you feel, but you are still in control of what you do. A feeling can’t make you give in to the temptations listed in #2. A feeling doesn’t have to keep you from doing the positive things that you want to do. And a feeling isn’t going to be shared by all, so you can still “rejoice with those who rejoice,” and find people who will weep with you as you weep (Romans 12:15). And, note to self: try not to take out your troubles on others by being harsh or impatient. You can still behave as the kind and loving person that you are.
- Take your emotion to the One who created you to feel emotion. The psalmist didn’t pretend. We don’t have to either. We can trust God to understand and to come to our aid, though as the psalmist said, there might be a period of waiting. When you get soaked, you can’t always dry off immediately. Sometimes it takes a while.
Hear me, O Lord, for Your lovingkindness is good! (Psalm 69:16a)
Dear God, the emotions that you’ve given us are so powerful. Help me not to run from them, and no matter how I’m feeling, help me to submit in my behavior to You and Your word. May I always turn to You whether in joy, fear, anger, or sorrow. Thank You for understanding and loving me through it all. In Jesus’s name, Amen.
by Christie Cole Atkins
Walk Worthy 